


Jonah's Big Fat Bi Crisis

by OrbManson7



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, F/M, Introspection, M/M, Possibly Pre-Slash, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 18:04:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13618758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrbManson7/pseuds/OrbManson7
Summary: No matter what, he and Cyrus always seemed to be on the same page.He made extra-sure he never took that for granted, to make sure he never messed up their friendship. Things could get bumpy with Andi, but he’d always have Cyrus. He was never going to give that up.And that must have been why he never saw it coming.





	Jonah's Big Fat Bi Crisis

For the longest time, there was only one thing Jonah considered the hardest to endure in all 13 years he’d been alive. 

It was the mess of a marathon he ran in fifth grade, only because his parents insisted that it was for a good cause. He managed to sprain his ankle halfway through and then forced himself to finish the race just so he wouldn’t have to see how disappointed they’d look because he had simply given up. And he wound up going to the hospital and missing out on the school trip to the zoo the next day.

Definitely the absolute toughest thing to deal with… up until the day Andi said they weren’t friends anymore. Or ever were, apparently.   
That quickly beat out the marathon endeavor for the most difficult experience in his whole life.

Now, dumping Amber, on the other hand, was surprisingly the easiest. The second time around, that is. And, to be fair, it still hurt, a lot. He felt horrible, especially when Amber claimed he was only doing it because of Andi. He didn’t really want to admit that was part of it, but it was.  
No, Andi helped him realize that he was being a crappy friend, and that Amber was an even crappier girlfriend. Some time apart really cleared his head on the whole matter, but he found that Amber’s words and the heartbroken look on her face felt like a mere mosquito bite compared to the sting he felt all over from what Andi had told him just a day before that.

And then that all melted away when Andi agreed to go out with him. Everything felt intense and brand-new, and the rush was exhilarating. He got to see her every day at school, got to talk to her at lunch, just be near her and see her smile. It was amazing!  
They got along in a way he’d never gotten along with anyone. It was like Andi wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, but she didn’t use that as a way to put him down. Jonah didn’t even realize he’d expected something bad from all of this every time he was surprised and delighted when Andi just enjoyed talking to him. He was certain he had never been this happy before in his whole life, and it was an incredible feeling.

And Jonah absolutely loved how close Andi and her friends were. He would never say it out loud, but he really wished he could have friends like that, where they’ve known each other since diapers, and are always there because they could be and they wanted to be.   
It took him a long time to realize that the reason they were so close was because they cared about each other. It seemed so simple, he wanted to facepalm once it finally clicked. Whenever one of them needed something, the other two rushed in to help. And even if they didn’t have all the same interests, they still figured out what particular parts each of them liked so they could be sure they all had fun. They were a perfect trio, and Jonah honestly kind of felt horrible for trying to be a part of that without earning it first.  
Andi really was right before, he was a terrible friend.  
He vowed then and there to try harder, to do and be better. If he wanted these three to be his friends, he’d have to work for it. It was only fair.

And that was when the next easiest thing in the world happened to him, and that was being friends with Cyrus. For a while, he was so worried that he’d mess everything up, but regardless of what happened, Cyrus would always smile and be there.  
It didn’t matter what they were doing, hanging out with Cyrus felt so calming, it was like he could just relax and really be himself around him. It was the best, and it was so different from playing nice with students you didn’t understand, cheering along teammates that were only there because ultimate was ‘easy’, and dealing with parents who were amiable so long as you didn’t let them down…   
He hoped the same was true for Cyrus.   
Jonah quickly became accustomed to having Cyrus around. He even started to wish Cyrus was in some of his classes, so he could be calmer during tests and presentations, just knowing he was near and would have his back.  
Seeing him at every ultimate game, having fun and helping out his teammates, and knowing exactly what to do in every situation with that cool vest of his, it made him realize Cyrus was the greatest person he’s ever known. He was so lucky Cyrus wanted to be his friend.

He found that being closer with Cyrus made it easier to be closer to Andi, too. The jokes and nicknames fit well with how he and Andi worked, and he felt more confident that he was doing things right the more they all hung out.  
He and Buffy even saw eye-to-eye once in a while, so he felt like his hard work was really paying off.

And he and Andi had some rough moments, sure, but somehow they always bounced back from it without the threats and jeers he’d been so used to from Amber. He was glad he managed to find the right girlfriend for him, the right friends to be with, the place he truly belonged. He didn’t have to worry, because everything always worked out.

Maybe that was when he had taken things for granted. Amber, of all people, had to call him a “hearbreaker” before he even noticed that he had royally screwed up.   
Of course, Andi didn’t want him hanging out with Natalie. But she made it seem like it was all okay. When Amber was jealous of him hanging out with Andi forever ago, she’d get all upset and tell him to stay away from her. He never thought that maybe Andi was just pretending she was fine.  
How could he be so stupid?

He had to try harder to be a better boyfriend, and, of course, a better friend.

And perhaps he was a little nervous about the former, so he did what was easy first, which was to go to Cyrus. Like true bros, they hung out and had fun, and Jonah was so grateful he had Cyrus as a friend.   
Cyrus was always doing something interesting, and he loved that. Not a single moment with him could result in boredom. And Cyrus was always wanting to hear about what he was up to, whether it was cool sports stuff or boring homework assignments. No matter what, he and Cyrus always seemed to be on the same page.

He made extra-sure he never took that for granted, to make sure he never messed up their friendship. Things could get bumpy with Andi, but he’d always have Cyrus. He was never going to give that up.

And that must have been why he never saw it coming.

\--

Jonah sat on his bed, trying to steady his thoughts. That whole day had become a blur after finding out what he was sure was probably still supposed to be a secret.

He breathed slowly, calming down.

Okay, so Cyrus was gay. He liked boys–-he liked Jonah.

They had been friends for a while now. Had Cyrus always liked him that way, or did he just figure it out later like Jonah did with Andi? Would anything change between them because of this?

Jonah let himself fall back onto the bed, staring up at the boring ceiling.

Everything would be different now.

Jonah didn’t like how that thought felt in his head. He didn’t want anything to change. He’d never had a friend like Cyrus before, and Jonah was so grateful that he even wanted to be around him, he never really thought there could more to it than that.

How could he not have noticed?

Cyrus was gay. Cyrus liked boys.

That was okay. That was fine. No big deal. He definitely didn’t mind if Cyrus liked guys. It didn’t mean things had to change between them.

But…Cyrus liked him. Based on the way he was talking about it to Buffy, it seemed like Cyrus liked him a lot. Like, maybe even the way he liked Andi.

He sighed.

But Jonah liked girls, he was dating Andi. And he thought Cyrus was into girls, too. Didn’t he go out with…whatever her name was? Amber’s friend?

He supposed Cyrus could like both girls and boys, it wasn’t impossible. He just never really thought about it before. Was it possible that Jonah liked boys, too?

He reached his hands up, putting them over his eyes, frustrated. His brain was starting to feel like mush. Wouldn’t he already know if he liked boys?

He tried to think about any guys in his school he might like, if he, hypothetically, actually liked guys that way. Did he think any of them were attractive? He’d only ever really thought about how cute some girls could be… Were there guys that were cute? He wasn’t sure.

He knew he liked Andi. She was cute, she was…soft. The way girls usually were. But she was also surprising, exciting, and very different from anyone else he’d ever met.

He wondered what it would be like to kiss her. He’d thought about it before. Would it be soft and exciting, too? He figured kissing Andi would feel like winning an ultimate game when you weren’t sure who’d come out on top. That rush of adrenaline before the final score, the jittery nerves from not knowing what would happen next, and the elation from watching the victory right in front of your eyes.  
She’d smile at him, soft but full of energy. He wondered if her lips would feel that same way. He hoped so.

Andi was someone that made him curious. He wanted to learn more about her, and every time they were together, he got the chance to do just that. Kissing her would just be an additional incredible experience, another discovery that he couldn’t wait to find.

As if impatient, his brain immediately switched to thinking of Cyrus.

What would it be like kissing him? He never thought about Cyrus like this, he wasn’t sure he could even picture it. But it would be a bit weird, right? They wouldn’t just… friends didn’t kiss. He tried to think up some scenario, some way it wouldn’t be weird. Maybe after a game?   
Yeah, the Space Otters win regionals, and Cyrus would look pleased after helping out the team because they are cheering him on, because they couldn’t have done it without him, and Jonah would just reach over and tug on that dorky vest that was as adorable as it was functional.   
So boys could be cute. Noted.  
Cyrus would smile, super wide and absolutely elated, like when he just thought of a joke and couldn’t wait to tell him. And his eyes would light up, with this look… Not the one Andi gets, not the soft but daring thing. No, Cyrus’ look is more welcoming and content, like he was expecting this every day. Like he was expecting Jonah to kiss him.

And then their lips would be touching, all warm and…safe? Yeah, safe. It was exciting in a very different way than he imagined with Andi, no nervousness, just relief. It would feel…right. Like everything was okay, because Cyrus was there, Cyrus was okay with this, Cyrus was okay with him. Warm, like he was home, just relaxing because he could be himself and not worry at all because Cyrus was there, helping him and making him happy and telling jokes so he felt like he belonged, smiling at him like he expected this.

Jonah’s mouth went dry. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, louder and louder.

He was quickly aware that he was currently in the middle of what had to be the newest, most difficult thing he’d ever experienced in his life. No broken bones, no shattered hearts. He was simply thinking about kissing his best friend after finding out that that best friend was gay.

And he couldn’t stop thinking about Cyrus smiling at him. His brain was anything but impatient now, because even if he tried to think of Andi, he couldn’t. It was just Cyrus, Cyrus, Cyrus.

Oh no.

His face felt hot. He turned and tried to shove it right into his pillow, but he still couldn’t stop thinking about his best friend’s lips.

\--

Jonah Beck was having a crisis.

It took some deep introspection and way too much visualization for him to actually freak out from the realization that 1) he liked girls AND boys, and 2) he might like Cyrus, too. He had stayed up, wracking his brain for hours the night before to figure out what his next step should be.

He recalled romance movies Amber always liked to watch (that he now wishes he’d paid more attention to) and that the main character would be told to 'follow their heart’ but that certainly didn’t help him in this moment, because his heart wanted to be with Cyrus, but his heart also wanted to stay with Andi, even though he obviously knew he couldn’t have both. That’s not how these things worked!  
Should he stay with Andi, since he liked her first, and try to be only friends with Cyrus? Could he even handle that?  
Or should he break it off with Andi just so he can confess to Cyrus, since he knew Cyrus liked him back? But what if he got it wrong and Cyrus didn’t like him that way? Or he liked him before, but stopped liking him because he was with Andi? But then he wouldn’t be able to have Andi back, because she’d know he liked Cyrus. Oh God, what if Andi broke up with him because she found out he liked her best friend? What if Cyrus won’t date him just because he choose Andi first? He didn’t want to lose either of them, he could barely handle losing Andi the first time, but if he lost Cyrus…!

Jonah turned on his heel and promptly led his forehead to the nearest locker. He wondered if that was what life was, just having a million terrifying questions and no answers, constantly being worried you’d mess everything up.

The locker felt cool on his forehead. He took a deep breath.

It was okay. Everything would be fine. He could figure this out. He just had to find something simple, something easier than asking himself a ton of questions.

He looked up at the locker in front of him. It wasn’t even his. It didn’t belong to him.  
That last thought pounded through his head. He was pretty sure his stomach just sank to his feet, as impossible as that sounded.

Why did feelings have to be so complicated?

He looked down at his hands, and his empty wrist. He remembered holding the wrap bracelet Andi made him in his hands that morning, feeling like putting it on would make things worse. Now he felt like not wearing it was just rude.

He really liked Andi. He liked being around her. And he liked knowing she thought the same of him.

And Cyrus, he had no idea someone could be like a personal safety zone. He couldn’t remember what it was like not having him by his side. He didn’t want to remember.

He stared at the tiled floor of the hallway. A few feet away from him lied a penny, face up.

Jonah shook his head, trying to think. Is that what he should he do? Flip a coin? A coin wasn’t gonna tell him how to fix this, though. It wouldn’t tell him how to keep everything okay so they could all still be friends.

But it might tell him where to start.

Jonah stepped over and picked it up.

He held it in between his finger and his thumb. Before he could think about how dumb looked he tossed the coin in the air.

Heads for Andi, tails for Cyrus.

He watched the coin come down, and he went to catch it, but as he did, it slipped out of his hand and dropped to the floor.

As it hit the linoleum, it barely made a sound before promptly rolling away.

Now determined for his answer, Jonah took off after it. His eyes never left the escaping coin as it twisted and curved through the hall. It straightened out for a moment, beelining for the nearest row of lockers, when a shoe came out of nowhere and stomped on it.

Jonah stopped. His eyes followed the person’s arm as they reached down to retrieve it. They looked up at him with the same smile that had been on his mind far too much the past night.

Cyrus held out the penny. Jonah stared. Tails. It was tails.

The relief in him broke free, and he felt himself grinning. He didn’t know if it was because of Cyrus or the coin, but he could definitely tell it felt right.

Cyrus nodded approvingly as he placed the penny into Jonah’s hand.

“Can’t let that one get away, huh?” He gave him a wink, like he knew exactly what Jonah was thinking.

He closed his fist around the penny and looked back at Cyrus.

“Yeah,” he told him, feeling like this was about to be the next easiest thing in the world. “You’re right.”

And he was.

**Author's Note:**

> holy hell, i haven't posted my writing in over a year. and it's really obvious how rusty i am with it. oh well, i just had to get this idea out there before the next two episodes came out, so what's done is done. fingers crossed for bi jonah to be canon soon~~


End file.
